LET'S HAVE A DAY JUST FOR YOU, DEMOCRATS. YOU MAKE US PROUD
CONGRATULATIONS, you’re a Democrat.
You’re just what the country – and the planet – need.
Being a Democrat means you want things to get better - for yourself, your family, your friends, your neighbors and for the earth and everything on it.
What does being a Democrat say about you? It says that you're nice.
Don't laugh. You support the right things, a list that's super long.
Here are are some highlights, if you're a Democrat, of what you think every human should have:
Because this sounds like joke.
It could be an elaborate setup for a late-night comic's satirical put down, with the studio audience waiting for the “Laugh & Hoot” sign to signal a tsunami of derisive, humiliating laughter that will live forever on You Tube.
Sounds like a proposal for sainthood. And no Democrat will fall for that.
Most likely, it's a Republican hoax, a consultant-manufactured conspiracy setting you up for a terrible storm of insult, a new smear, maybe a public hanging, since you know that they know that you know how much they absolutely detest you. You are, after all, a Democrat.
Still waiting for the punchline?
There isn’t one.
YOU DESERVE A DAY, one just for Democrats.
How about today, when we remind you of who you are and what you stand for? This is your day when, on behalf of a grateful nation, we offer a moment of appreciation for all you have done over the decades, plus what you hope to do - what you will do - going forward.
Stuff the modesty.
We know, since you're a Democrat, that you crave criticism. You're not stupid, most Democrats aren't. But being smart, you know that no one – not even a Democrat – is perfect. You understand that everyone makes mistakes and can learn from them; it's how we evolve and improve.
But leave the humble pie for some other time.
Today's banquet is to celebrate good Democrats and the good that they do.
It’s party time for the Democratic Party.
Because, as a Democrat, you need a break from the naysayers.
The abuse comes at Democrats from all sides, day and night, week in and week out. You're demonized, blamed, belittled, insulted and scolded, not just by Republicans, but by every kind of critic, attacking from every point on the political compass; you're lashed by media blowhards, taunted at the Thanksgiving table, put down on campus, and challenged when you go to the bar, the gym and the supermarket.
Gloomcasters are everywhere; sometimes they’re your fellow Democrats, and other times they're the guy in the next seat, coughing up Covid and not wearing a mask.
“You’re going to lose, Democrats.”
"You’re pathetic, and it’s your fault. And even if it isn’t, you’re still a disgrace. Nobody likes a loser. Upcoming mid-term elections: they’re going to be a wipe out, you donkeys."
Just today, the website “Politico” stuck it to you with a lethal forecast that I’m surprised didn’t come with an offer of free razor blades to slit your wrists with; just fill in the on-line coupon and we'll get them to you before 3:15 p.m. tomorrow.
Wait a little longer, and 2024 will be here before you know it, with Donald Trump back in the Oval, with murder on this mind and a vengeful list on the Resolute Desk.
BUT THAT'S ALL MALARKEY, in the words of a famous Democrat.
And I'm here to tell you that all that stuff we were just talking about - it’s just nonsense and noise.
They are on the right side of history.
They solve problems.
They believe in science.
They promote progress.
They are artists, poets, potters, ditch-diggers, pilots, scientists, teachers, philosophers, loyal friends, loving parents. They keep the sewage plants working; they welcome dogs and cats into their homes; and they like to go on vacation. They follow the latest “guidance” on Covid. Democrats go to church and raise tomatoes; they play hockey, clean the house, run the dishwasher and sometimes empty it; they check “approve” whenever there’s a bond issue for a new school.
Democrats revere the Constitution, are committed to fair elections and willingly walk away when they don’t win. Democrats are the party of civil rights, women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, immigrant rights, indigenous people’s rights and disabled people’s rights.
Democrats want Donald Trump in jail.
Not because they dislike his vile politics but because he’s a traitor and a criminal; he's a Putin-wanna-be, a Putin-puppet, maybe both; he abetted the insurrection at the Capitol he swore to defend; and in the course of his crass, cruel life, he abused women, broke laws, cheated on taxes, shortchanged contractors and told thousands of lies.
You don’t need a Democrat to tell you that no one is above the law, but you need a Democrat to make the case.
Democrats are in favor of roads without potholes, and they support bridges that don’t fall down; they like bike lanes and sidewalks and parks of all sizes, minus the oil wells. Democrats want to make rivers and lakes swimmable, fishable and drinkable; they're big on air that’s fresh, clean and won’t kill asthmatic kids, yours and theirs. They want colleges that are affordable and farms that can support a family and average wages that keep the average person afloat.
If you are a Democrat, you believe that there is still time to prevent the environment from becoming unlivable for all creatures, even Republicans. And you’re convinced that a green environment is a job-maker and a money-maker.
Democrats are for everything Republicans are against, which is a mammoth list, but not an insurmountable one, at least if you're a can-do Democrat.
If you are a Democrat, you know that you don’t know all the answers; but you believe that the answers are there, and that all of the puzzles that befuddle us today will be solved tomorrow, and after that, there will new questions we don’t even know about.
So, please, Democrats, take a moment to be proud of who you are, what you do. Slap a bumper sticker on your car, and give yourself and each other a pat on the back. Fly the flag. Stand up for yourselves the same way you stand up for everyone else. Hug the kids. Harvest your vegetables and invite the neighbors for dinner.
HERE'S A BIG ASK, Democrats: make sure you vote and don’t forget.
There are millions and millions of Democrats, and if enough of you vote, we'll all share the satisfaction of “Politico” and the other soothsayers realizing that once again they underestimated what Democrats can do. Everybody loves an underdog, but only an underdog who wins.
You are a great bunch, Democrats, and it’s all because you’re nice. No one should underestimate the power of nice.
Think of all that has accomplished.
Democrats turned around the Great Depression and fixed the Great Recession. They won World War II and launched the War on Poverty; they invented Social Security, Medicare and Obamacare, and for a while, they had a child care credit. They got us to the moon. They elected the first President of color, and more recently, voted in one of the genuinely decent Presidents in recent memory, one who pulled the nation from the brink.
It’s an astounding record.
So think about it, Democrats.
And have a nice day
BRIAN C. JONES